Okay, first I apologize for the gap in posts. It has been a few weeks since my last post. My world is crazy, as usual, with work, kids, etc, etc, etc.....
I have been inching closer and closer to my 10% goal weight of 202lbs. As of this past Saturday, I was 1.4lbs away!!!! Well, Mother's Day happened. I prepared dinner for my family, my parents and my brother and sister-in-law. I went with a BBQ themed dinner. The pulled pork was WW friendly, HOWEVER, the potato salad, macarroni salad, fudge and coconut macaroons weren't.
I realized that I have a LONG way to go to get my food under control. I have no control over certain foods, and those that I prepared, I proved no match :(
My problem wasn't Sunday, it was the days that followed. In my mind, I figured that I messed up Sunday, so Monday didn't matter. And since Monday didn't matter, neither did Tuesday. And here I am today, on Wednesday, with the same mentality. I cannot get my mind away from the spiraling effect that started on Mother's Day.
So, I lead back to my personal sabotage. I get so close to my goal and take 5 steps back. What the heck is wrong with me. Do I want to stay over weight? Have I been over weight so long, that it terrifies me to get healthy and down to a healthy size? I have no clue! It has taken me 5 months to lose 20lbs.....FIVE MONTHS!!! Anyone else would have been working on their 40th or 50th pound mark....not I!
I sit here and write out my frustrations. I am so disappointed in myself. I have let my family down, I have let my kids down and more importantly, I have let myself down. Deep down, I know I am not going to do anything until Saturday. I have two days until weigh in, ***which I am not weighing in on Saturday***, and get my mind right! I need to find that motivation that I had on Day One. That motivation that drove me to realize I am worth my own happiness!
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